We Talkin Bout Practice?

Due to complications in my schedule (studying for exams), I wasn't able to put up another post last week before the Penn State game. So, I apologize and any complaints can be addressed to my statistics professor. We were fortunate enough to be able to practice in Mackey Arena last Wednesday before the men’s game against Indiana, which means all the decorations, if you will, were put up for the game. The “Defense Lives Here” turnover counter was up by the student section, the Big 10 Network had their advertisement signs posted, and the biggest deal to us was that the announcing crew for the game was in the gym watching practice. It was a shame Gus Johnson wasn't there, because I may have passed out on the spot. We honestly felt like we were about to play a rival practice squad on national television, but we weren’t. We were still playing against the girls and getting them ready for their game the next night against the Hoosiers. This still doesn’t take away from the fact that we get jacked up to practice in these scenarios, even when it only happens about once a year. Actual athletes dream about playing on big stages, like a National Championship game, but we get excited when someone comes in the gym to watch practice. 

From there we moved on to two days of preparation before the team traveled to State College to face the Nittany Lions (if anyone can tell me what a Nittany Lion is I'd appreciate it). The team knew it was a big matchup. So did we, but we usually don’t get yelled at if we have a bad practice or play sluggish so it was just another day at the office for us. Penn State has a solid lineup led by junior guard Maggie Lucas and senior center Nikki Green. My job was to portray Lucas to the best of my abilities by not only imitating her skills, but also being an emotional player. For example, she hit a mid-range jump shot against the team and threw her hands in the air like she had just hit a buzzer beater. The coaching staff put together a game plan to focus on Lucas, and they made sure the players knew this in practice. In other words, this was a game plan to make me exhausted by running off screens and being chased like dogs on a three-legged cat, me being the cat. 

Let me say something about the physicality of women's basketball; I leave practices with more cuts and bruises practicing with these girls than I ever did in high school, and I believe the other guys on the squad are the same way. When we run sets against the girls, I usually get guarded by Dee Dee Williams, Chantel Poston, and KK Houser. Not at the same time of course, they rotate in. I always dreamed of being Michael Jordan but it clearly hasn't worked out that way, so it isn't necessary for me to be guarded by three people. They grab and pull to an extent that sometimes I'll just give up trying to go off a screen because it's not going to happen. I gave up on tucking my jersey in a long time ago, they just pull it out every play. But, I guess it isn't as bad as last year when Nette Howard (who graduated last year) ripped my jersey. 

You're probably thinking that being grabbed all practice is the worst it gets, well it isn't, it can be worse. Coming off a screen on offense is difficult, but trying to get through screens on defense is even worse. Guys set screens with our hands down protecting a certain reproductive organ that we all watch a film about in like fourth or fifth grade. Girls set screens with their arms up, and elbows out. This simulates something like the spike room Indiana Jones encounters since the girls all have pointy elbows. I think all of our guys have a bruise in one spot that stays there all season because we get hit by a screen in the same spot. 

Tomorrow the girls play Michigan at home, a game that would be a nice win to stay on track for the top spot in the conference. I'm just glad I won't have to see those bright yellow jerseys live, but I'm bringing my sunglasses just in case. The Wolverines have a lot of height, aren't particularly quick, and will zone you to sleep. As Coach Versyp put it in this morning's practice, if the girls can defend the three and keep them off the offensive glass they'll pick up a win. 

The coaches came to us last week and gave us some great news, if I do say so myself. The Big Ten tournament is in Chicago this year, and the coaching staff has reserved rooms for us in the team hotel for that weekend. First, we can't thank them enough for doing this. A special thanks to Director of Basketball Operations Terry Kix who is battling stomach cancer and doing exceptionally well. She's been such an inspiration to the team and us as well. Terry and the rest of the coaches have always been great to us so this is just icing on the cake. Second, it will be a wicked awesome time for the seven or eight of us who are able to go. We did the same thing last year in Indianapolis when they won the tournament, which made the trip even better. There's a good chance I'll be writing about out adventures during that weekend. Expect something similar to The Hangover, but without a wedding, alcohol, drugs, casinos, a fat man with a beard, and a naked Chinese guy.